Correction: Reality, Self & Storylines

To all those present at yesterday's meeting, particularly the Dancefloor exercise portion afterward, I have a "correction" to make about something that I said. I misspoke, or rather spoke about a topic in a way that didn't give enough background information, and thus later I had a concern that my words could / would be taken to mean something that I didn't actually intend. As this does not meet my needs for authenticity or clarity, I decided to clarify what I meant.

We were talking about the stories we tell ourselves regarding who we are or events of the past. I mentioned my modality, when I realize I am engaged in an egoic narrative, of having my mind create several stories, to take away the clinging to or power of one particular narrative. I then said something to the effect that all identity is a story line, that which story one picks is almost arbitrary, so why not pick one that is life-affirming? One that allows our needs to be met?

This sounds to me, in retrospect, as though I am advocating telling stories about one's self that might, perhaps, just put one in the "best" light possible, or implying that what is "real" about one's self is arbitrary and based solely on what one creates in one's mind, or that the story we tell ourselves is created by either our jackal or self-defender voice, so why not pick the self-defender? NONE OF THESE THINGS IS WHAT I ACTUALLY MEANT. I realized, in retrospect, that this is what my words "sounded like" or implied, which did not meet my needs for clarity or authenticity since this is not what I actually believe or have experienced to be true. To me, ANY story that polarizes our beliefs about right / wrong, my side / their side, good / bad, etc., leads to a constricting and impartial view of reality, so that is not at all what I meant. I also don't see a benefit to "kidding one's self" about who one really is, or just telling stories that one finds pleasant to believe, or in any way deluding one's self about the nature of the self or reality.

What I *do* believe is that as we transcend a lot of these conditioned patterns / stories where we are either the victim (self-defender side) or the bad guy (jackal side) that we can gain greater expansiveness and clarity about who we really are. I believe that people have an inherent nature (in my spiritual tradition they call it "awakened heart-mind") that is clear of obscurations (i.e. the conditioned jackal responses to life that translate into ineffective strategies and suffering) and "at one" with all of existence. To me, as we take off the stories, conditioned narratives, and ego reinforcing beliefs, we become more and more in touch with that clear and expansive center.

What I advocate is finding that center and supporting it, by letting go of the stories that reinforce us staying in a state of suffering, that keep us from having our needs met. I advocate letting go of belief systems (read: stories) that repeatedly tie us to the jackal/self-defender version of reality and allow us to expand into a reality of interconnection, peace, compassion and equanimity. I mentioned that, as a writer, I grasp how much of identity is constructed (as I am my primary topic of textual study and write as approximately seven different people), but was not implying that I invent or "lie about" who I really am when I write. The opposite is actually true -- I feel freer, more expansive, more authentic, more honest, when I write than when I speak. (My verbal language has been more strongly conditioned than my written language.) There are a million ways to view the same information, the same reality, the same stimulus -- why not consciously choose perceptions that lead closer and closer to ultimate expansion and union with the All? Why continue to choose stories that are self-limiting, that lead to suffering, that constrict and confine our potential for bliss, fulfillment, peace, actualization and liberation? We have a choice -- it is our mind -- it is our relationship with reality.

That is more what I meant.

This meets my need for clarity, communication and authenticity. Thank you for reading / listening.