ID Feelings

In doing some homework for my NVC study group recently, I noted something interesting....

The assignment was to list words that one might feel when they were 1) having their needs met and 2) when they were not having their needs met. Okay... no problem.... Start with list 1:

Content
Blissful
Fulfilled
Relaxed
Grateful
Energized

Well, that was fun! As I wrote I found myself experiencing each of the feelings, as though each one was a little emotional chocolate in a big shiny box. But on to the second part of the assignment....


Sad
Despair
Loathing
Dread
Shameful
Angry
Resentful
Overwhelmed
Conflicted

After that list, suddenly I didn't feel so hot anymore. Life looked sort of dark, sort of gloomy, definitely not-shiny. But since I was out of words, I went back to exercise one...

Excited
Gleeful
Delighted
Creative
Exuberant
Turned On

Hey -- not so bad. Starting to feel pretty up again. Now back to exercise two...

Stubborn
Trapped
Contentious
Aggressive
Isolated
Vulnerable
Scared
Anxious
Self-righteous

Bleh. Bleh. BLEH!!!! Back to number one...

Stable
Grounded
Unstoppable
Connected
Harmonious
Ecstatic

Just to keep things spiffy, I ended with exercise one and didn't go back to number two again. It was amazing -- every time I though about the words and their meanings and repeated them to myself, I started to feel what the words expressed. Hmm....

There are often several ways I can choose to view a situation I'm in, or the emotions I am having in relation to that situation. When I'm feeling particularly "down" I find that I am more likely to pick words which reflect that "down" feeling. (See words from exercise two.) If, however, I make a conscious choice to re-lable my experience, or as is often the case, to observe the situation without judgment, then I tend to choose less emotionally skewed words to view my internal state.

I wonder, though.... what if I just periodically read or thought about a list of words which describe how I would feel if my needs were met? Would I be more likely to experience life as a series of ongoing fulfilling events? Or, conversely, if I often thought in terms of the second list, would I be more likely to experience life as a series of ongoing disappointments? Hmmm....

I am willing to try the former approach, though I think I'll leave the latter to the realm of theoretical possibility. And, really if I'm honest, I have *plenty* of experience labeling my internal state in a variety of "negative" (pardon my evaluation) ways.

Hmmm..... things that make me go "hmmm...."