Ob w/out Judge ~ 4th of July

Conditioned reaction:

"Uck, I hate fireworks. Every year I spend a whole weekend tense, jumping every five seconds, wondering if it's a gun or a firecracker.... is someone getting shot next to my house? Oh my gawd! What if that's a.....??!!!!?? F*&$*#($@!!! I HATE fireworks!!!"

Post NVC, Observe without judgment:

There are people lighting explosives in a parking lot about fifty feet away from my house.

There is a physical element to the blast that my body registers independent of the actual sound, i.e. it occurs a split second after I hear the blast.

A few seconds after I perceive the sound, a second sub-sonic wave follows. When it passes through me it causes a sensation of movement in my solar plexis.

This is a similar physiological response as the one evolutionarily experienced by humans when something large was chasing them, and therefore alerts a part of my limbic system that a sound above a certain decibel level followed by a sub-sonic wave has occurred and might be a source of potential danger.

Therefore, in the absence of examining the condition objectively, I interpreted automatically that the sound indicates some kind of threat since it is always accompanied by a physical sensation that I associate with fear. If, however, I just observe the situation without the fear, I see that the sensation occurs independent of my feelings about it. A physical sensation that I associate with fear occurs, therefore I interpret that I am afraid, when in fact I'm not. It would be like interpreting that one is afraid of the waves because one is standing on the deck of a boat.

Hmm....

I am also aware that if I didn't already have a body cortisol level above a certain threshold, then it is likely I would have experienced the sounds of fireworks differently. However, because I already had unprocessed cortisol floating around in my system, the limbic response from the physical effect of the sound jumped on that cortisol bus and took off.

Woo hoo! We've taken this ride before! Cortisol and adrenaline team up to make Fyshmom hop, pop and curse all weekend long!

I find my neuropeptides more amusing if I give them quirky personalities. I used to be filled with demons; now I'm merely harboring imps.

Furthermore, I am also not observing the situation without judgment if I am jumping to preconceived conclusions about my predicted emotional state, i.e. that I hate fireworks, I''ve always hated them, and it is inevitable that I am going to dislike them now. By making assumptions about my current situation based upon how I've reacted in the past, I don't allow for the fact that my experience now is unique and new. By recalling my past negative judgments and assuming they will be relevant for the current situation, I automatically asses the present in a negative light.

So this is how behavior patterns develop..... hmmmm....

And I guess that is what NVC is all about -- changing, breaking out of old conditioned patterns, responding to what is there rather than reacting to conditioned interpretations of it. This whole "observe without judgment" thing just keeps paying off. Not once have I regretted taking the time to do it -- it is a tree that repeatedly bears fruit.